I have a cold and didn’t feel like doing a cartoon today, so I am futzing around on the interwebz instead.
Now that I am on Twitter and Facebook, I am discovering that a lot of progressives are like these Time Travelers that Art Bell used to have on Coast to Coast AM when it was still entertaining back in the ’90’s. They make dire predictions about the future based on false assumptions about the present…or do they? I followed a tweet that took me to a facebook page that took me to http://www.truthout.org/william-j-astore-a-very-american-coup-coming-soon-a-hometown-near-you56201 and an article full of facts about things that haven’t happened yet.
As Criswell says at the end (or maybe the beginning?) of Plan 9 from Outer Space, “We are all interested in the Future because that is where we will spend the rest of our lives.” How right he was! But the future written about by William J Astore, an alleged retired USAF Lieutenant, is so grim that I don’t think Criswell would interested in it, even if you could throw in Bela Lugosi and grave robbers from outer space to spice up the mix.
Far be it from me to spoil the surprise, so I will not tell you what the future holds for us when Lt Astore’s vision comes to pass (as all futurist’s visions always do). But I can tell you that I believe he may actually have some first hand information because when I tried to post my comment, I was told it was a duplicate and I should try back in fifteen minutes. I knew that I had never posted anything to truthout.org before and certainly not to comment on this article…or did I? Perhaps I already posted my comment slightly in the future and my present post and my slightly in the future post collided in their spam filter. So I waited fifteen minutes and tried again and again it told me that there was a duplicate of my post that had never been published. At this point, I don’t even know if they mean the same fifteen minutes or some fifteen minutes that starts in fifteen minutes or if my second attempt to post was what was colliding with my first attempt to post. This Time Travel stuff is shite, let me tell you!
I don’t use duplicate post filters here at presidentsuit.com and I recently heard that facebook was getting old so I know that its time vortex is probably in sync with my own. I try not to run afoul of any rifts in the space-time vortex because running afoul of rifts can sometimes cause you to lose your car keys and piss yourself and who needs that? And that reminds me, what happened to “Plans 1 through 8 inclusive from Outer Space”? Plan 9 was to raise people from the dead to scare Earth Humans not to use nuclear weapons and we know how well that’s worked out. Maybe Obama is part of Plan 10…
Anyway, here’s my comment on Lt Astore’s article that his genuine time traveling website blocked me from posting
OMG! this is the most horrible thing that never happened that I ever heard of! When did all this not happen? The future? Well, let’s not go there! It’s nice here, in this place where all the people in the past who predicted the future were 100% right. I love how my flying car just zips over the traffic jams and when it’s really bad, my personal jetpack takes me anywhere. I love my spray-on disposable clothes and my meals in a pill and only working eight hours a week, too. I love how there were no more wars after the War to End All Wars was fought in 1918 and how we can vacation in spas on the Moon! But this other dystopian future, with the military coup and a public “conditioned to act like sheep”, no thanks. You go on ahead. And BTW, who are these people conditioned to act like sheep? Can I get some to come out and graze my lawn so I don’t have to mow?